Spring Break

Wow did it come just in time. The past two weeks have been crazy mostly due to thesisizing. I turned in my draft through results today. It still needs a lot of work, and I know it's going to get torn apart by my advisor and grad student - again. Unfortunately I don't get more than a few days off...because after I get back from SoFla I have to basically write my entire rough draft of my music thesis. Less intense, but still! I thought second semester seniors had it easy. Maybe all the other ones I knew/know just didn't do double honors and work and treatment all at once. Yeah. I think that's it.

I got accepted to Columbia TC's masters program. I applied to the doctoral program...but at least now I know that I am going to grad school, goshdarnit, and you just try to stop me now!

I am also headed to SoFla for another interview. I'm looking forward to it, despite the obvious stress of uhm I don't know interviewing for a Ph.D. program and having to find gluten-free food in an unknown environment. Oh, and Boost. Still have that...going to try to get some on the plane Sunday morning...we'll see how that goes. A very close Renfrew friend and I had spectacular plans for after my interview...but she bailed. For reasons known only to her. Fortunately, I have more than one friend in SoFla, and hopefully will be seeing three or so of them in all of their fabulousness. And sun! Warmth! Yay!

So treatment. I just finished week 6 (WTF that's so long!) of IOP. Two weeks at least left. Things are getting better slowly, I'm more of aware of those annoying emotion things as of recently...as of greater meal plan compliance. And I'm coping? That's only a question because I am so wary of progress, as in the past I was never able to keep it up or even realize when I was no longer piloting the Grace-ship. But yes, the glories of DBT. I will continue to act opposite to emotion, contribute, self-sooth, distract, abstain from the use of "should", be interpersonally effective, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Thursday night we had a difficult DBT group, and the leader (who is also my case manager and ohmygoshshe'ssoawesome) said, "This has been a tough group, as groups tend to be, are you guys okay?" directing the, "you okay" to me and another group member in particular, and once we affirmed our collective okay-ness, she said, "Okay. Well, we have dinner in five minutes. I want you all to use those five minutes to distract, self-sooth, whatever you need to do to return to the present and calm down. I'll be back in five minutes." And it was cool, because it's so uncommon that a DBT group includes like, ACTUAL distress tolerance practice.

Okay. It's late. I only have one more thing that I need to write about: the Lady Gaga song Paparazzi reminds me of my ED. Particularly:

baby you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me papa-paparazzi

and

real good, we dance in the studio snap snap, to that shit on the radio don't stop for anyone we're plastic but we still have fun