Anniversary

One year ago today, I was admitted to Renfrew.

Tomorrow, I will have been without eating disorder symptoms for 7 weeks.

This is the longest I've gone without symptoms since before my ED.

This is a good thing.

The anniversary is mostly sad, because I miss Renfrew, I miss the people, I miss my therapist, I miss my nutritionist.

Healing Garden

Keep coming back, cause it works if you work it, so work it cause you're worth it.

21 days and counting.

19 Days Behavior Free

That's about it. Life is incredibly stressful, I am waiting to hear from grad schools (Thursday eek!), I am still working on my thesis (theses actually), I'm kind of incredibly annoyed with my nutritionist, and I'd really like to be done with my recital, like, now.

You are a liar

and you can go fuck yourself.

8 weeks later

I graduated from IOP on Thursday night. It was time, I'm in a really good place, and I need the 15 hours a week to do school work, not that that was actually considered by my treatment team...

Life's pretty good, despite all the suck that the ex brought to it last week.

I think I may just get this recovery thing.

Dear body...

I am not happy with you right now.

Sometimes I wish our gym was open 24 hours.

And then I realize...that if that were true, I would never sleep.

Distract, distract, distract

...is what I'm going to do tonight. The ex is in a relationship on facebook. Two months to the day since he broke up with me for this girl. Seriously, are there any decent people left? I thought he was different. We were planning to spend the rest of our lives together.

I sent him a really sarcastic message and he asked me about grad school in FL. Seriously, seriously, seriously. I can't believe this.

I'm having major urges. And my stomach hurts because I'm so upset about all this.

My plan for coping tonight: knitting, some paper-writing, bed early.